Self-Love = Positive Self-esteem!

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Self-esteem issues appears to be among the strongest emotions that challenge many women today. It has become a woman’s first worry when she awakens, and her last worry before she sleeps.

It’s said that we’re all born with a natural self-esteem, but through the worlds concerns about power and control, we have been trained to worry about what others think of us and how we can please them. We have forgotten how to love ourselves and treat ourselves with respect. We’re taught that loving ourselves is selfish and will only make us appear conceited, which will turn people off.

If weren’t allowed to learn how to love ourselves, then how can we learn to allow others to love us? We cannot feel love and positive esteem for ourselves if we focus all of it on others first. If we do, we then run the risk of offering all of our inner feelings to someone and not getting anything in return. At this point we begin to feel resentment, cheated and even lower in our ability to ever love again.

People that have scars from resentment and abuse are the hardest people to love. They’ve the highest low self-esteem walls to climb. Shortly, they’re unreachable. This isn’t a good thing at all.

When a person says altogether honesty that they’re suffering from a low self-esteem issue, I take that very seriously. This is a true cry for help. They are at the bottom of their pit and are asking for help to bring out. They’re at a point where they’ll expect you to love them and take care of them as they’d themselves. In other words, we all know the worst thing a person can do is expect their partner to be a mind reader.

Well, when a person is suffering from a low self-esteem, trust me, they do expect just that. They will expect for you to just know what they need. They only have faith in you. They’ve lost faith in themselves long ago and they’ve no recourse. This places a very huge burden on your shoulders as their partner. This isn’t a good thing!

No one will ever be able to feel what another person feels inside. No one will ever be able to love another as they can love themselves. No one can read our minds. No one can do for us, what needs to be done to make us feel inner peace. It’s our responsibility to ourselves to love us first.

You really must know who you are to start. To be able to fulfill your needs and desires and goals in life, you need to identify with your wants. You cannot do any of this if you don’t concentrate on you. You need to be all about you for a time. No one can do this for you, so just do it!

This is called finding your space. Your space is a very, very important place to just find yourself in peace without any distractions. Just you and your thoughts. Learning  about your self-esteem also means that you must come to terms with this question, “How badly do you want to have a higher self-esteem” ? If you really want it, then you’ll find it. You have been trained to un-love yourself, so it’s not impossible to retrain yourself to love you again.

Your environment is also important in helping you feel positive vibes. For you to truly accept yourself unconditionally, you must look beyond the simple quick fix motto’s that are plaguing television and magazines, such as diets that will make you a better you, or take this pill and you will be a new you. Ugh, there are so many misconceptions out there. It seriously boils down to your mind and your heart. Love yourself as you would like to be loved. Love yourself as you prefer to love someone! Just be you! That is a very good thing!

Remember, “HABITS”? Well that’s exactly what you need to do. Create loving you habits and respecting you habits. Think of it as your very first self-esteem day. You wake up, you stretch and hug your partner or just yourself. Even hugging your pillow is a good hug. You’ve no memory of any other feelings.

You love yourself. You’ve no other intention but to take care of you. You look in the mirror and stick your tongue out and roll your eyes inward and smile! Smile at you because you love who you are. Ti’s a very good thing to be able to smile at you for no other reason than it is good to be you!

Please don’t get me wrong here. Life will still challenge you with its ups and downs. You’ll still have to deal with all the negative things that your day will unravel. But the difference is, you will be doing it from clear, fresh, positive self-esteem eyes. Nothing will defeat you finally. Oh, it may give you a run for your money, but you’ll override all of it with your smiles and love for yourself. Imagine the confidence that will shine inside of you. Your reactions will be out of love and understanding. They’ll no more be from resentment and hate. This is a good thing!

Remember also that anything worth having doesn’t come easily. When it’s been attained or learned, it remains forever. This too is a good thing! Many women have experienced the highs and the lows of self-esteem, you’re so not alone in this battle to find a better you!

To finally have the gift of self-esteem won’t bring you happiness, that is something that comes after. But it will bring you a deep awareness of who you’re. A new respect for you. A genuine love for yourself and the confidence to soar! Finding your self-esteem saves your world, not anyone else’s. But it does give you the strength to help others to find theirs. So Ladies, please follow me into the world of a very high self-esteem.

Dorothy Lafrinere
http://www.womensselfesteem.com
http://www.justblogme.com/Dorothy

Originally posted 2009-05-03 05:26:32. Republished by Blog Post Promoter

Practice Self Talk And Positive Affirmation Statements In Your Life

photo credit: TheeErin

Positive self-talk means purposely giving yourself positive reinforcement, motivation, and recognition- just as you would do for a friend. Congratulate yourself when you do well, and remind yourself of your abilities, accomplishments, strengths and skills. Keep a to-do list, check off accomplishments, and review your progress periodically.

Make self-talk work for you. When you habitually say to yourself has a very profound impact on your self-image, your self-esteem, and your performance as well as eventual success. Remember that your subconscious triggers physiological responses to match the pictures and thoughts that you have of yourself to make them happens. Make this work for you by keeping your self-talk positive.

For example say to yourself either “ I did a good job on that changing a friend’s oil even though I took a quart and ½ for myself “ or “ I did a good job of not paying a good friend the cost of supplies for the efforts he did for me “.

Stop negative self-talk. You may well be quick to nag yourself because your mother wanted you to more than perfect. However, negative self talk can be damaging because your subconscious believes what you say to your when you repeat that negative talk in your mind over and over. How is your subconscious to know otherwise? If you catch yourself using negative self-talk, stop and rephrase. Eliminate the negative words. Focus instead on the best course you can take and do it.

Make positive communications a habit. Focus on the positive in goal statements, self-talk, and all communications. Compare the following phrases, and notice how the positive words convey confidence, commitment, and enthusiasm.

For example instead of “I will try” substitute the phrase “I will “. Instead of saying to you “I should do “insert the phrase “I will do “. Try saying “ I want to “ or “ I choose to” instead of the more common “I must “.

Focus with affirmation statements. Affirmative statements are positive self-statements or reminders to help you achieve goals. They are positive messages with a punch “mental bumper stickers” of sorts to motivate your subconscious mind to work for you.

Here are guidelines to help you to use the powerful tool of affirmative statements as vital mental reminder technique.

1. Make the statements personal to yourself. Not arbitrary or generic. Use the phrase “I”, your own name, or you
2. Keep affirmations short. How can you use the affirmations if you cannot remember them?
3. Phrase your affirmations positively. The mind accepts as truth the words that you give it. Use positive words only as affirmations. Leave out any negative words. For example say “I will not be nervous during my interview with the warden “. Rather say “I will be calm and self-assured during my interview”
4. Include a positive emotion. A phrase that triggers a positive emotion strengthens the affirmation. For example “My goals are valuable and it excites me.”
5. Phrase affirmations as fact. Phrase a goal as though it is happening even if you have not achieved it yet. Your subconscious believes mental messages and works to make them a reality.
6. Say your affirmation at least 6 times a day. Repetition is life. Repetition enhances self-confidence, acts as a reminder, and stimulates your subconscious to help you achieve your goals in life.

It cannot be overstated the impact that positive self talk and affirmative statements can help you towards the vital goals that you have identified in your life. Remember that without goals even if you work hard you are like a ship without a rudder.

These powerful tools of positive self talk and positive affirmations can more than help speed you along to your chosen goals.

Originally posted 2009-06-03 01:12:27. Republished by Blog Post Promoter

The Problem of Positive Affirmation

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You likely have read a lot of information on the ability and power of using positive affirmation methods to improve your living. There’s without doubt that positive affirmations repeatedly exposed to ones brain for a time period will touch on ones life for the better.

Even so, one thing that appears to be neglected in most of the information out there’s the reality that we almost always do not come to the table with an empty subconscious mind available to be fulfilled with positive affirmation. We come loaded with entirely kinds of information, a considerable part of them negative, already well established in our subconscious mind.

There’s very least information out there on what to do on the already existing garbage before we establish new affirmations. Though the problem isn’t a lack of blank space, the old information in the subconscious will all the same have an influence on our lives even out whenever we add up new affirmations on top of it. They do not necessarily cancel one another out.

By no means I’m discrediting affirmation practices, as a matter of fact I completely trust in them and we should all pursue them aggressively. Even so, we’ll get even better results from them whenever we release the negative affirmations that we’re currently keeping and playing out in our lives.

Among the fastest and best techniques I recognize of how to do just that’s called EFT or Emotional Freedom Technique. By just tapping on specific energy meridians on the body this technique aids to reconfigure the negative aspects of stored affirmation or memory into a positive energy flow, freeing us from its hold.

Releasing old unproductive affirmations or beliefs is definitely attending take an effort and considerable amount of self awareness to accomplish. Therefore, it’s a good thought to immediately start the positive affirmation practice while we’re tying to release the old and unwanted ones. The order they’re done isn’t a major issue as long as both aspects are addressed. This way we get the benefit of both approaches quicker. Good Luck and more success to you.

Originally posted 2009-05-03 04:54:08. Republished by Blog Post Promoter

Supercharging Your Affirmations

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In the movie “The Secret,” Cathy Goodman shares her personal experience in beating breast cancer without chemotherapy or radiation. She says, “I truly believed in my heart, with my strong faith, that I was already healed. Each day I would say, ‘Thank you for my healing.’ On and on and on I went, ‘Thank you for my healing.’ I believed in my heart that I was healed. I saw myself as if cancer was never in my body.” Cathy’s story is astounding to say the least, and her husband, Morris Goodman, has an amazing healing story of his own. (Learn more about them at http://www.themiracleman.org)

However, for the purposes of this article, I would like to concentrate more on the phrase Cathy used to heal her body of cancer. “Thank you for my healing” is such a simple phrase, but it holds tremendous power! There are three key reasons why, and they are the same simple steps you can use to literally supercharge the effectiveness of any affirmation:

1) Gratitude.

Giving thanks for something automatically puts us into a state of allowing and receiving. It puts us in a state of non-resistance with the Universe. This is powerful enough when we’re giving thanks for something we already have (because it attracts more things to be grateful for), but when we do it with something we want, the power is magnified drastically! Why? Because we are putting our full faith into the belief that what we desire will come to be in the physical realm. As I’ve mentioned in previous articles, a strong belief that something is true will most definitely bring it forth into reality! Notice that Cathy didn’t say, “Thank you for the healing that is on the way,” or, “Thank you for my upcoming healing,” or, “I know I will be healed, thank you.” She said simply, “Thank you for my healing,” with full faith that she was ALREADY healed. Can you sense the power in that sentiment?

2) Affirming the process.

Though Cathy affirmed she was already healed, notice that the language she used puts the emphasis on the process of healing. She didn’t say, “I am healed,” she used the form of the word that implies a transition in progress: heal-ing. This may seem like a contradiction, but it’s the perfect combination of focus to achieve the desired result.

Though we put our full faith into believing our desire has already manifested, choosing words that support the PROCESS of manifestation can be easier for us to believe. Why? Sometimes the jump from our current reality to the new reality we desire can be too big of a leap to make and still be believable. Believing that something is in progress seems like a smaller mental leap than trying to force ourselves to believe it’s already a done deal.

To demonstrate this point, consider the difference in feeling you get from these two affirmations:

- I am a perfect size 5.

- My body is becoming slimmer and lighter every day.

If you don’t wear a size 5, stating an affirmation that you do is largely ineffective, simply because you know it’s not true. With enough forceful repetition you might be able to convince yourself and bring forth such a reality, but you would have to overcome plenty of inner resistance first.

The second affirmation is much more believable, isn’t it? It causes feelings of excitement and pleasure because you can visualize your body shrinking in size, clothing becoming baggy, and smaller sizes looming in the near future. The mental state this affirmation activates is perfect for attracting the desired result.

3) Focus ONLY on what you WANT.

Finally, the phrase, “thank you for my healing” is powerful because of the absence of something. Notice that cancer isn’t mentioned anywhere in this affirmation. Though breast cancer was certainly Cathy’s reality at that moment in time, she didn’t emphasize or reinforce it. She didn’t say, “Thank you for healing my cancer.” Because that would have been affirming that cancer existed in the first place! With affirmations, it is crucial to focus ONLY on what you want, not what you DON’T want. Likewise, with the two example affirmations above, notice I didn’t mention “losing weight” or “burning fat“. Fat doesn’t exist in the mind of someone who is thinking slender thoughts.

Can you see how these three simple steps will add power to your affirmations? If you’re skeptical, try it yourself and see! Just to get you started, here are some more examples:

“Thank you for my growing abundance.”
“Thank you for my considerate and romantic spouse.”
“Thank you for my successful business.”
“Thank you for healing my eyesight.”
“Thank you for returning me to a perfect state of health and vitality.”
“Thank you for the happiness and joy I experience every day.”
“Thank you for the many blessings I continuously receive.”
“Thank you for freeing me, mind body and spirit.” (This one is especially good for addictions!)

As you recite your affirmations, allow yourself to really FEEL the immense gratitude your words convey. Conjure up an image in your mind of your desired circumstances already formed and actualized. See yourself in the midst of these new circumstances, shouting your joy and thanksgiving to the Universe. The more you can do this, the more power your affirmations will contain, and the more quickly your chosen outcome will manifest.

Originally posted 2009-06-05 01:18:36. Republished by Blog Post Promoter

The Power Of Affirmations

photo credit: TheeErin

Affirmations are spoken statements that can be of a positive or negative nature. In the popular sense of the term they are spoken commands made purposefully in order to change some aspect of our life. In order to fully understand how affirmations work and the science behind their use we must first look at the way our minds work!

When we are born our brains are like empty computers waiting to be fed information. As we grow our peers act as our programmers, they supply us with the knowledge which we channel through the conscious mind into the subconscious (our hard drive). The subconscious mind is the biggest hard drive ever developed – it stores everything we come in contact with and by no means is all of this information of a positive nature.

All that we have heard, touched, smelt, tasted and seen are stored in the recesses of our minds. The subconscious mind holds on to this information until we need to recall it. For example when you were young your curiosity lead you to investigate your surroundings. When you approached a substance that was dangerous, such as fire, your parents or guardians would most likely have rebuked or scolded you if you ventured too near the flame. Perhaps you may even recall an incident when you were physically burned. Your subconscious mind then began to relate scolding (or pain) with the intense heat of the fire and would therefore feed the feelings of the scolding incident back to you whenever you got too close to fire again, thus acting as an early warning system.

This is the mechanism used by our brains to learn. It is also the same method employed by the mind in every situation. The subconscious mind has a tendency to emulate what it sees – it tends to replicate its environment. This is why so many people find themselves in similar relationships and situations that they saw their parents in while they were growing up. Most people also hold very strongly or similar views of their parents.

Think of a time when you gave yourself praise. What words did you use? Do you use the same words that your parents or peers used when they were praising you? The same is applicable when you scold yourself.

Watch your internal dialogue. Look at it closely. It takes diligence to change the way you think. When you notice yourself thinking a negative chose to think the opposite. This way you neutralise the negative thought. Now the think the positive thought again! You have just reversed the negative thinking in that moment and remember you only have this moment. No other time exists! You are in the NOW.

The whole point of affirmations is to convince the mind that what you are repeating is the truth. As you verbalize your desire you will find negative emotions and contrary statements entering your conscious awareness. You must deal with these negative thoughts as they arise in order for your affirmations to work! Many people use affirmations with EFT or the Sedona Method in order to eliminate the negativity that comes up as a result of affirming something that feels untrue.

During your normal day daydream about what might be. Imagine things the way you wish them to be. If you catch yourself thinking “this is just a daydream – a fantasy” then stop! Think the opposite. It is not a daydream it is your reality. Now think it again. Release the resistance as it arises in whatever ay you can.

If you just repeat affirmations with no feeling, or worse, feeling that it isn’t true, then you are actually affirming the opposite in your own mind! This is why some people find their situations actually getting worse when they work with affirmations. You must release the resistance by creating the feeling that the affirmation is true.

Bob Doyle goes into this approach indepth in his wealth beyond reason audio & video courses. I have found that affirmations will only work for me if I use EFT or the sedona method.

By creating the feeling of ‘having it now’ while repeating your affirmation you will begin to retrain your subconscious mind to think positively and you will ultimately begin to consciously create a life that dreams are made of!

Read the review of affirmware – the company behind a powerful affirmation software tool that can really boost the effectiveness of your affirmations!