Self-Love = Positive Self-esteem!

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Self-esteem issues appears to be among the strongest emotions that challenge many women today. It has become a woman’s first worry when she awakens, and her last worry before she sleeps.

It’s said that we’re all born with a natural self-esteem, but through the worlds concerns about power and control, we have been trained to worry about what others think of us and how we can please them. We have forgotten how to love ourselves and treat ourselves with respect. We’re taught that loving ourselves is selfish and will only make us appear conceited, which will turn people off.

If weren’t allowed to learn how to love ourselves, then how can we learn to allow others to love us? We cannot feel love and positive esteem for ourselves if we focus all of it on others first. If we do, we then run the risk of offering all of our inner feelings to someone and not getting anything in return. At this point we begin to feel resentment, cheated and even lower in our ability to ever love again.

People that have scars from resentment and abuse are the hardest people to love. They’ve the highest low self-esteem walls to climb. Shortly, they’re unreachable. This isn’t a good thing at all.

When a person says altogether honesty that they’re suffering from a low self-esteem issue, I take that very seriously. This is a true cry for help. They are at the bottom of their pit and are asking for help to bring out. They’re at a point where they’ll expect you to love them and take care of them as they’d themselves. In other words, we all know the worst thing a person can do is expect their partner to be a mind reader.

Well, when a person is suffering from a low self-esteem, trust me, they do expect just that. They will expect for you to just know what they need. They only have faith in you. They’ve lost faith in themselves long ago and they’ve no recourse. This places a very huge burden on your shoulders as their partner. This isn’t a good thing!

No one will ever be able to feel what another person feels inside. No one will ever be able to love another as they can love themselves. No one can read our minds. No one can do for us, what needs to be done to make us feel inner peace. It’s our responsibility to ourselves to love us first.

You really must know who you are to start. To be able to fulfill your needs and desires and goals in life, you need to identify with your wants. You cannot do any of this if you don’t concentrate on you. You need to be all about you for a time. No one can do this for you, so just do it!

This is called finding your space. Your space is a very, very important place to just find yourself in peace without any distractions. Just you and your thoughts. Learning  about your self-esteem also means that you must come to terms with this question, “How badly do you want to have a higher self-esteem” ? If you really want it, then you’ll find it. You have been trained to un-love yourself, so it’s not impossible to retrain yourself to love you again.

Your environment is also important in helping you feel positive vibes. For you to truly accept yourself unconditionally, you must look beyond the simple quick fix motto’s that are plaguing television and magazines, such as diets that will make you a better you, or take this pill and you will be a new you. Ugh, there are so many misconceptions out there. It seriously boils down to your mind and your heart. Love yourself as you would like to be loved. Love yourself as you prefer to love someone! Just be you! That is a very good thing!

Remember, “HABITS”? Well that’s exactly what you need to do. Create loving you habits and respecting you habits. Think of it as your very first self-esteem day. You wake up, you stretch and hug your partner or just yourself. Even hugging your pillow is a good hug. You’ve no memory of any other feelings.

You love yourself. You’ve no other intention but to take care of you. You look in the mirror and stick your tongue out and roll your eyes inward and smile! Smile at you because you love who you are. Ti’s a very good thing to be able to smile at you for no other reason than it is good to be you!

Please don’t get me wrong here. Life will still challenge you with its ups and downs. You’ll still have to deal with all the negative things that your day will unravel. But the difference is, you will be doing it from clear, fresh, positive self-esteem eyes. Nothing will defeat you finally. Oh, it may give you a run for your money, but you’ll override all of it with your smiles and love for yourself. Imagine the confidence that will shine inside of you. Your reactions will be out of love and understanding. They’ll no more be from resentment and hate. This is a good thing!

Remember also that anything worth having doesn’t come easily. When it’s been attained or learned, it remains forever. This too is a good thing! Many women have experienced the highs and the lows of self-esteem, you’re so not alone in this battle to find a better you!

To finally have the gift of self-esteem won’t bring you happiness, that is something that comes after. But it will bring you a deep awareness of who you’re. A new respect for you. A genuine love for yourself and the confidence to soar! Finding your self-esteem saves your world, not anyone else’s. But it does give you the strength to help others to find theirs. So Ladies, please follow me into the world of a very high self-esteem.

Dorothy Lafrinere
http://www.womensselfesteem.com
http://www.justblogme.com/Dorothy

Originally posted 2009-05-03 05:26:32. Republished by Blog Post Promoter

The Problem of Positive Affirmation

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You likely have read a lot of information on the ability and power of using positive affirmation methods to improve your living. There’s without doubt that positive affirmations repeatedly exposed to ones brain for a time period will touch on ones life for the better.

Even so, one thing that appears to be neglected in most of the information out there’s the reality that we almost always do not come to the table with an empty subconscious mind available to be fulfilled with positive affirmation. We come loaded with entirely kinds of information, a considerable part of them negative, already well established in our subconscious mind.

There’s very least information out there on what to do on the already existing garbage before we establish new affirmations. Though the problem isn’t a lack of blank space, the old information in the subconscious will all the same have an influence on our lives even out whenever we add up new affirmations on top of it. They do not necessarily cancel one another out.

By no means I’m discrediting affirmation practices, as a matter of fact I completely trust in them and we should all pursue them aggressively. Even so, we’ll get even better results from them whenever we release the negative affirmations that we’re currently keeping and playing out in our lives.

Among the fastest and best techniques I recognize of how to do just that’s called EFT or Emotional Freedom Technique. By just tapping on specific energy meridians on the body this technique aids to reconfigure the negative aspects of stored affirmation or memory into a positive energy flow, freeing us from its hold.

Releasing old unproductive affirmations or beliefs is definitely attending take an effort and considerable amount of self awareness to accomplish. Therefore, it’s a good thought to immediately start the positive affirmation practice while we’re tying to release the old and unwanted ones. The order they’re done isn’t a major issue as long as both aspects are addressed. This way we get the benefit of both approaches quicker. Good Luck and more success to you.

Originally posted 2009-05-03 04:54:08. Republished by Blog Post Promoter

Self Esteem – 4 Simple Steps To Conquer Self Esteem

Believe it or not, some of the most successful people you see in the media today used to have a low self esteem. How did they overcome this and become the successful people that they are today?

You can win the battle over low self esteem with these 4 simple steps…

1. Affirmations.

Affirmations are simply positive things that you say out loud to yourself every day. This can be very difficult at times because you may not actually believe what you are saying. SO why would you say something to yourself that you don’t believe?

Increased self esteem has to start with you. So, if you are shy and intimidated by people, start to say something like the following: I am NOT shy and I am NOT intimidated by people. I am VERY confident when I get around people.

Repeat this to yourself out loud at least 10 times before you leave your room. When you say this, don’t just mumble it either, say it as many times as necessary until you say it with passion and conviction.

2. Read to grow.

Again, increased self esteem starts with you. Read something everyday for at least 30 minutes that will help you increase your self esteem. This can be an article, a book, or even an audio series. The more you learn the more you will grow. The more you grow, the more your self esteem will improve.

3. Take action everyday.

Do something every day, starting with something small, that directly deals with your low self esteem. For instance, if you can’t talk with people because you feel insecure and inferior, just start off by saying ‘Hi’. As you get more comfortable with this, then start to make small talk. You will begin to feel more confident and more confident until one day, you will find that you have overcome low self-esteem in that area.

4. Stop the negative thoughts.

Negative thoughts are like land mines. As soon as you step out to face your fear, a negative thought comes and tells you that you can’t do it and BOOM; you believe it and lose that round. Instead, diffuse negative thoughts before they have a chance to do damage.

A great way to do this is with a rubber band! Put a rubber band around your wrist. Every time a thought comes into your head that tells you that you can’t, you will never succeed, you are a looser, or anything negative, SNAP the rubber band on your wrist.

You may be snapping that band until your wrist is red and sore. Before long though, you will stop the negative thoughts because you don’t want to hurt your wrist anymore.

These four steps will help you increase your self esteem and become the person you really want to be. Just remember this: you are not going to change over night. It will take time but as long as you are progressing, you are winning the war.

Three Ways To Boost Your Self Esteem

Feeling good about yourself is one of the key ways to be successful at what you do. Remember that only you are in charge of your emotions and empowering yourself is a great way to get ahead in life.

This article lists three ways to boost your self esteem which can help you feel better about yourself and become a more confident person.

Get your mind relaxed

A relaxed mind is the source of great power. Like the tai-chi masters of old, a calm mind can bring about great mental strength that can allow you to become more confident in what you do on a daily basis. Things like hypnosis, tai-chi or meditation can help you develop this inner calm that will allow you to be composed in the most volatile situations. A calm mind in the face of adversity, is a source of strength.

John for example is a busy executive who was really stressed out at work so in the weekends he decided to take up Tai-Chi and after that was able to maintain his calm during the week. As a result of that, his colleagues started consulting him when they had crisis and his self confidence went up.

Do something that you are strong at

Do something that you are good at and that reinforces in your mind that you are a person that is of value. Spend some time doing something that allows you to experience the feeling of winning. Chalking up the wins is something that will help boost your self confidence.

There is much to illustrate in the area of the psychology of winning. There was an story of a father who let us son beat him at wrestling and after a while, this son started to consistently beat his other brother whom for the longest time had prevailed over him. Such is the power of the mindset of a winner.

Do something for others

Spend some time doing something for others and doing it well. The joy of achievement no matter how small will empower and light up your life. Remind yourself that in small things you are faithful, you will be able to handle larger and more complex things. Thereafter you will be able to be confident in your own abilities to handle more tasks.

Self confidence is relative as well. Some people think that they have the worst life in the world, helping out the less fortune reminds us that we should be thankful and thereafter make the best of our own existence on earth as mundane as it may be. Thankfulness and self esteem have an impact on each other and a thankful mindset is the basis to attract more self confidence.

In conclusion, are you feeling down and insecure? Try taking these three simple steps today and thereafter spend time at night reflecting on your own thoughts. Discard thoughts that drag your self-worth down and take active steps to nurture positive thoughts. There is wisdom in living a more confident life and it is one that you ought to live.

I Can’t Stop

You’ve tried everything but that “thing” you are addicted to….. and it doesn’t really matter what it is, yes I said,” it doesn’t matter what it is”!
The addiction is what you “do”, it is not the problem!
Anyway, it just won’t go away. So you start looking for external things to solve the problem. I mean things like nicotine patches, self help books, step programs or articles like this one.

Now don’t get me wrong these things can all be useful. They prepare you for the “final revelation” which will help rid you forever of your addiction.
You do deals with yourself. “If I don’t have (insert your personal addiction here) today, then I will be able to have one tomorrow” or “I am useless because I can’t control this”. “I feel so bad today I need my little helper”. Maybe, your inner voice tells you no-one understands how hard it is, or you are just more sensitive than others, or it makes you interesting, or my friends wouldn’t like me any other way or or or….

We can run in these circles for years, swapping addiction for addiction. Blaming everyone for our problems. “I was an unloved child” “My father was an alcoholic” “I have issues with commitment”. Sound familiar? Now please, don’t get me wrong. Being the child of an alcoholic is no small thing! I am not belittling it, just as I would not dream of belittling anything that someone believed was the cause of there addiction.

But, and here is the problem. If you “believe” something external caused you to set off on the road to oblivion, then you are going to  need an equally powerful external tool to make you change that path. Well, it’s not going to happen! There is nothing external to you that will alter your course. Sorry, but thats the truth.
You can justify, lie, blame others and spend a fortune on self-help guru’s, until you realise one simple truth and that is this.

The secret to stopping your addiction is to Stop. Yes Stop! and the point is you won’t until you realise the answer to your difficulty lies inside you.
Fear is stopping you contacting the part of you that can help. Whatever it is you do to allay that fear, “your addiction,” stops you hearing that clever part of you.
The trick is to recognise the fear for what it is.

Understand it is standing in the way of you hearing your inner voice.
You have been tricked into believing that the fear is as deep as you can go. The fear is shallow. Make the decision to Stop, Stick with it and move on. Once the thing you are doing “your addiction” is no longer ruling you then you have a chance to work out how you got into this mess, That’s if you feel you need to? Maybe just getting on with your life is an option too?
Remember! The answer to the question is you! The secret of stopping, is to stop!